This poem came to me in a dream, including the ghosts and snails.
I read it within the “Tales from Beyond” event that took place on the 1st of November 2019 at the Théâtre du Centaure (Luxembourg) and it was included in the anthology of short stories and poems published with that occasion.
In our home, we were all there – all our family, all our kin, and you as well, for you were kin
And yet I did harbour more feelings for you
Than would have been approved by others.
But I didn’t dare show you.
You were older.
You were 41.
And you were dying.
I held your hand and looked into your eyes and I saw you were scared
That you didn’t see the angel who would take you to heaven.
What can an atheist do for a believer?
I was so torn.
But I loved you and so I wished for your angel to come because you wanted it to
And it did.
Your angel of light came and became one with you and you died happy
Holding my hand.
And your body melted with the angel
And it became a bell jar with earth, twigs and beautiful snails,
Silver, golden snails, shimmering in the light.
I took the bell jar to the basement and set it on a table.
On your 40th birthday I had written some questions on a piece of paper
And left it on the stairs for you to see,
Not wanting you to know it was me.
But you knew
And you answered
And I didn’t know
I found the paper, on the stairs to the basement.
Your answers were there, sweet, lovely,
Love was in them as love was in my questions
And I wept, for it was too late.
I set the bell jar on a table in the basement and your ghost appeared and took my hand.
And we talked, and we danced, and we dined together.
And we were happy.
But you were a ghost now.
We didn’t know whether you’d ever return to flesh.
Most surely not.
And it pained me to see I was spending my life in a basement
With a bell jar full of snails and a ghost
When outside, in the sunshine, by the beautiful fountain with sparkling waters,
Young love was waiting for me with gorgeous blue eyes.
~Dreamt in August 2012~